Alice in Wonderland

V: My favorite book growing up was Alice in Wonderland. The previews looked really creepy, and the reviews mixed, but we decided to go see it anyway. Yes, it was creepy. Tim Burton is the King of Creep. But, it kinda fits in Wonderland - because it's Wonderland. Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen was pretty funny. I liked her. Anne Hathaway, as the White Queen, was also good, in a quirky, wistful way. Johnny Depp was right at home as the Mad Hatter. Crispin Glover as Stayne, the Red Knight, was uber-creepy, with his huge body and tiny head. It was a much darker Wonderland than I liked in the book, though. Nonsense for nonsense's sake has been replaced by tragedy-induced madness. And I got a hint of a nightmarish cyclical history in Wonderland. Was it just me? I guess the makers of this movie felt they had to explain things and reason some plot out of this - which is precisely not the point. Remember what the "most important piece of evidence heard yet" was? "Nothing, whatever." It's supposed to be nonsense.

Okay, the more I write the more I'm convincing myself I didn't like this - but I actually did enjoy "seeing" it. I enjoyed most of what was happening visually in Wonderland. I was liking the movie very much, actually, until Alice returned to England. Her actions there were rude and historically improbable. *Spoiler* It's fine if she doesn't want to marry someone, but rather than politely decline, she meanly tells poor Hamish that he just didn't do it for her. Then she stomps off, as the entire crowd, silenced, parts to let her grandly parade by. I really hate stuff like that in movies. It's so over-the-top. And of course then she takes her father's place in his adventuring business (which seemed quite a jump from the way things had been set up socially at the beginning of the movie.) It's great for Alice to want to be independent, and to find adventure in her life. But it was abnoxious and political grandstanding: "Look at me! I'm a woman in turn-of-the-century England and I just told this guy to shove it in front of all his family and friends! I'm so strong and liberated! And now I'm taking over my father's business and am going to boss all these wealthy old men around! Yeah, I'm 19 years old, but I'm strong and liberated!" Not likely. I see that they were trying to make Alice out to be a strong heroine, slay the jabberwocky and otherwise not follow traditional roles, blah, blah, blah... I guess what I'm trying to say is, Be strong, but don't be bratty and immature about it.

So that was a lot about what I didn't like. Again, the Wonderland visuals, and many of its characters, I liked. 3 stars

M: I was not the biggest fan of the book. I know, I know, you are thinking that I didn't understand it, or I am a fun-hater. Maybe. Watching the movie though, gave me a little better appreciation for the book. I, like V, think they missed the boat. In the book, there are no "good guys" or "bad guys," just characters. There is no winning or losing, or winners or losers, just a nonsensical adventure. In making this movie, someone must have said, "wait, we need a plot, a good team, a bad team, a battle, and a winner, that is just what we do in movies, and if we don't, how will people know who wins, how will they know they saw a movie at all?" So, like a miniature version of Lord of the Rings or the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, the movie separated the characters into teams, good and bad. Then, in the end, the teams had an epic battle, which for me, was the last straw. I didn't want a winner, I didn't want good to overcome evil, and I didn't want a re-hash of ever other movie out ever made. I wanted Alice in Wonderland, the book I didn't really under stand or appreciate. The unique, nonsensical, delightful adventure of Alice in Wonderland. This just missed the boat. On a side note, it was very beautiful, but I think I have had by fill of 3D movies. 2 1/2 stars

James Bond: Quantum of Solace

M: Definitely action packed. Fairly stylized too, more like the classic James Bond than its predecessor. But, not as good of a story. Just a lot of revenge. But still, I am going to give it a little bump up for the attention-grabbing action. 3 stars

V: Interesting, but not amazing like Casino Royale. The "rogue agent" idea was not well developed. And the opening credits sequence was waaayyy toooo long. I was bored before the movie started. Otherwise, it was a good Thursday night's entertainment. 2 1/2 stars

G-Force

M: Sometimes movies are just for parents, sometimes they are just for kids. Sometimes you can get a movie that the whole family can enjoy. On a rare occasion, you can find a movie that is hated by all. Welcome to G-Force. The best, and most telling, part of the movie was when, after watching for about 1/2 hour, our daughter (5 1/2 years) asked, when do we see the weird funny things (the movie had a preview for Alice in Wonderland, and she thought that was going to be the movie we watched). We explained that this was the movie, that it was about these guinea pigs and their adventures. She covered her head with her blanket to hide her disappointment and to weep quietly. Our other daughter (4 years) had fallen asleep. I wanted to join them (sleep would have been preferable, but gentle weeping would have sufficed). But there we sat, through the end. I don't know what it is about our family, but when it comes to movies, we finish what we start. Even if it is awful. I think we hope it will turn around and redeem itself. So I never get it when I hear someone say "oh, we turned that one off after 10 minutes" I don't know if they are wrong or I am. Even our 5 1/2 year old is starting to display this tendency (although she was very disappointed, she wouldn't let us just turn it off, we had to wait to the end). We really only turn something off if it is just foul (see Year One). But, since we don't really watch the rated R's, that is not common. Even Year One we may have made it to the end if we weren't watching it with my parents (squirm . . . blush . . . squirm). So last night, after the movie, I was thinking about this, and humming a song by Cake which kind of sums it up. It's called "End of the Movie"

People you love will turn their backs on you,
You'll lose your hair, Your teeth,
Your knife will fall out of it's sheath,
But you still don't like to leave before the end of the movie.

People you hate will get their hooks into you,
They'll pull you down, You'll frown,
They'll tar you and drag you through town,
But you still don't like to leave before the end of the movie,
No, You still don't like to leave before the end of the show.

I don't even know where to begin on the actual content of G-Force. It just bugged me. I will say that I hear it had some cool 3D effects. But on a TV, those scenes set up for the 3D theaters just fell flat. 1 Star

V: M, you had fun with that review, didn't you? Yes, G-Force was really quite dumb. Very disjointed, throw-in-the-stuff you think people will like but give it no sense, pick-your-nose and fart humor, bleagh. Not a fun one for our family movie night. (Our kids are still re-watching Chicken Run.) Why would these smart little rodents be devastated by the fact that they were not genetically engineered, but just regular guinea pigs who made themselves into intelligent creatures? Why would the villain who spent so much time plotting world destruction so quickly wake up to the fact that what he had done was wrong and he needs to try to stop it? "Oh dear, what have I done?" Dumb, dumb. 1 1/2 stars

Martian Child

V: I liked it better than 2 1/2 stars. I am having a hard time remembering it, it was a couple of weeks ago. I'm a big John Cusack fan. (LOVED "Say Anything" as a teenager. Holding that boom box (or was it a ghetto blaster?) in the rain . . . so romantic.) Anyway, I liked it. It was a tender-hearted story. 3 stars.



M: Pretty good, heart warming, worth seeing. Had a classic kiss that made me laugh. Cusack was good, the boy was ok. The end of the movie didn't really do it for me. 2 1/2 stars

Gilmore Girls

M: TV series are interesting. They are different from movies. They are a bigger commitment. They are something you can look forward to, and they are in your life for an extended period of time. They can be great, or they can be huge time wasters (or both). A Movie is like choosing a restaurant to eat a meal, and a TV series is like choosing a caterer to make your meals for the next several months. So you have to choose wisely. The Gilmore Girls, at 7 seasons, is definitely a big investment. It took us about a year, and two different homes, to get through. The first season, I kind of half watched, have played on my computer. But, as the series went on, I tuned in more and more. Over time, it became something that V and I looked forward to. This is a fun series, with great dialog (and a lot of it, tons in fact). A mother and daughter live and love and learn. Lots of quirky characters come and go, and make a place in your heart. Lauren Graham plays the mother, Lorelai Gilmore, brilliantly. Some questionable moral decisions, and a bit preachy at times. But very fun. This is a good series to watch as a couple. 3 stars

V: We had a lot of fun watching these. I found it to be good escapism after a long day of housewifery. Lauren Graham, as M mentioned, is really great. Very funny, very likable, even though she does really dumb things sometimes. The writers (there are many) loved sticking in as many obscure cultural references as they could into an episode. Sometimes the extent to which they did that was annoying- kinda like the word-of-the-day snuck into high school plays. I remember the "gravy" performance. Otherwise, it was kind of fun, and they provided a list of their references in the dvd, uh, "pamphlet." Because there were so many writers, there were incongruities at times, but only irritating people like me would be bothered with it. (Or is bothersome people like me being irritated?) Just a few tiny complaints. So, you can tell that we liked it since we watched the entire series in a year. It was good fun. 3 stars

Indiana Jones

M: I delayed seeing this movie. I had some low expectations, but even more, I had fear. Fear that another childhood love (see "Transformers") would be brutally ruined for me. That didn't happen here, so I am pleased. I really like Indiana Jones. The Raiders of the Lost Ark and the Last Crusade, for me, are classics. This latest attempt, "Crystal Skull" does not stack up, but it is better than I expected, and better than the Temple of Doom. Definitely cheesy in parts, definitely unbelievable too. But I thought the movie had a good heart. 2 1/2 stars

V: I didn't expect this to be good at all. So I ended up liking it more. It was enjoyable. There were fun references to the earlier stuff. I enjoy the goofy humor in the middle of deadly situations. It was a fun watch. And I swear they threw the Superman theme in there, just for a second. Am I wrong? 3 stars.

Battlestar Galactica

M: Ok, so at the risk of revealing myself as a closet nerd, I really liked this series. This has been my treadmill series, meaning the series I watch on the treadmill in the evenings. It works good because it is action packed and not necessarily dialog heavy. From the first episode, which is really a two hour movie, I was hooked. Very exciting. Who are the Cylons, who are the humans, what will become of civilization, and what exactly does frak mean (ok, so that last one is not really a big mystery). With 4 seasons, there are of course a few throw-away shows. And, I am not sure that I am 100% sold on the finale, I wish they had pulled it together a bit more. But all in all, I recommend. Beware, there are some sex scenes that will make you uncomfortable. I wish they weren't there, but they are. Also violent at times, but I don't think to an extreme. If you don't mind space ships and suspense, mingled with death and sex, give Battlestar Galactica a shot. 3 1/2 stars

V: Wow, really sold it there at the end, M. I actually DO mind spaceships. I find them really boring. I do. I even didn't love, I know some of you will hate me for this, Star Wars. Too much metal, too many buttons. I thought the first episode of BG was all right, it took a little longer for me to get past the spaceship block, but after a while, I really got into it. There are a bunch of characters that you get to stick with throughout the entire series, that you will get attached to. It is interesting, exciting. Like M said, good treadmill material. Some good actors, like Stand and Deliver's Edward James Olmos and Dances with Wolves' Mary McDonnell. There is some objectionable material. And, yeah, it's kinda violent at times - because it's a war - the whole thing is about a war between the humans and cylons. Star Wars had some war in it, if I recall correctly. So I wouldn't not see it based on that. Overall, we really liked it. Like, I'd call M at work after seeing an episode to tell him I couldn't believe what happened, or I think ___ is a cylon! It was good. 3 stars

Confessions of a Shopaholic

M: If I had to choose one word to describe this movie it would have to be superficial. Which is kind of ironic. The shopping is supposed to be superficial, the story, probably not. It's like someone went through a book and picked out necessary elements to a movie: scruffy guy from a rich family that wants to do his own thing, check; cute girl who stumbles on fame and fortune, check; wacky parents for comic relief, check; evil pretty girl who gets her come-uppance; check. But everything just seemed like a cheap veneer. No real feeling. I was mostly bugged. 1 1/2 stars.

V: This wasn't funny, as billed. Well, maybe one part: her dancing in Miami got a little funny. But the other dancing at other times wasn't funny. The romance and the girl's immediate and amazing success at writing for a finance magazine was unwarranted and unbelievable. I thought they had something going there with the mannequins who talked and waved and lured - but then when she decides not to buy something, they applaud her. What? No, these are her irresponsible and worldly desires, not her friends. They should have just shrugged and started waving at the next girl, leaving our heroine to deal with that loss of adulation, get over it, move on. Otherwise, the heroine, whatever her name was, the "Girl in the Green Scarf" was just so silly and goofy, to an annoying, not darling, extent. 2 stars

Nanny McPhee

M: A good family movie night movie. Nanny McPhee is an ugly nanny who comes to help teach extra bad children to behave. As the children get better, she gets more beautiful. The movie had some fun spots, and good imagination. But the kids annoyed me at times, and I wasn't really feeling the love interest. Somewhere between OK and Pretty good. 2 1/2 stars

V: Our kids liked it. It had some fun moments and some great actors. Written and played by Emma Thompson, Nanny McPhie had some fun magical stuff (the messing-up-the-kitchen scene) and some silly stuff (dancing donkey) and some okay-I-get-it repetitive stuff (NM always showing up out of nowhere and startling people.) I agree with M. (I'm always agreeing with him lately.) 2 1/2 stars